A Justin Is Forever's Through These Eyes: ON BEING HELD

There are two things that I hope for the readers of F6: besides the general conversation, communication of ideas, and putting up with my ranting about politics, educations first goal is to have an affect on the way people think about different issues.

Through the educational resource that F6 is committed to present the second goal has always been more controversial in its display; that simply stated, people will realize the male body is beautiful, there is something intrinsically beautiful about men being able to express their love and affection for one another, without that intimacy being labeled as evil or sinful in or by society any longer.

That is the reason why F6 splits the line between showing the naked male body and the intimacy between men versus the exposure of male genitalia without explicit reasons in its editorial policies which can be viewed on our DISCLAIMERS AND COPYRIGHTS page.

Justynian is one of my long time friends on MySpace and writes a personal reflections blog called Through These Eyes. And what beautiful eyes they are! Recently "Justin" diverted from his normal routine and made a video of an entry he wrote last year entitled: On Being Held: In The Arms Of The Man You Love.

I would like to offer his post as F6's contribution to the conversation that a lot of local and statewide blogs have been having regarding homosexuals effect on society due to recent events. F6 has always challenged the assumption that we are all in it for crazy uncommitted sex with multiple randomness of partners and no regard for principles. But more importantly I would like to introduce you to this wonderful young man that I am honored to know, and who knows you may just get a few new ideas from him as well.



And as is the normal policy (when I happen to think about it) for those whom are on a slow connection or RSS feed and cant view the video here are the words:

On Being Held

I sleep with a pillow between my legs, a pillow in my arms, and a pillow behind my back. I tuck myself in so tightly in that I cannot move. I close my eyes and pretend.

I pretend that the pillows around me are the arms, legs, and chest of someone I love. Behind these eyes, and in these pillows, I find the comfort to fall to sleep each night.

Being Held

The first time I slept with my ex, I asked him: "Will you hold me tonight?"

"Are you serious?" he laughed. He was surprised with the request. "I'll try."

That night was probably the most uncomfortable night of my life. He was holding me in the most awkward position, and he hated it, too. His arm fell asleep several times, his muscles ached, and his desire to turn and get suited was forfeited.

But he suffered through because I requested it. And I suffered through because it's what I'd fantasized about every night since we met. He held me every night we were together thereafter. It became our favorite pastime. It was, for me, more intimate than sex. It was who we were.

He once hated to hold me. Today, he still calls and asks permission to come over not to have sex with me—but to wrap his arms around me. To drive forty minutes out of his busy way to just hold me.

Perfection

Out of a potential boyfriend, I ask four things: to be honest with me, to be romantic with me, to avoid breaking my heart, and to hold me.

That doesn't sound like much, but those are some big orders for many people. My ex nailed the holding part. That's about it, though. He hated being romantic with me, he lied to me, and he broke my heart worse than anyone in the world.

The fact that he held me so well, though—this is powerful enough for me to long for his presence still.

That's because being held means more to me than a 20-minute session with a climax. Being held means drifting to sleep in the arms of the man who holds your heart. And waking to someone who loves you enough to remind you every night.